(and then our heroine finds herself walking alone on a lonely stretch of Milwaukee Ave, circa 2 am, thinking, “yeah, it IS weird that I’m not dating anybody, why *don’t* I have a boy or girlfriend? Oh god, I forgot about that part, I need to go get a boy/girlfriend!”)

(and then our heroine remembers why she doesn’t have one and why it wouldn’t work. they never sound like santa claus but they want you to pretend that they do so then you sit on their lap. oh, forget it.)

(i would date a fellow alien from my own species, though. humans are too complicated and itchy.)